Apparently now that I’m not in school anymore I’m all about giant long-form comics.
Identity is a really important topic to me, and the trope of ‘finding yourself’ is almost as problematic and insulting to me as the trope of ‘coming out’.
I want to destroy the idea that some identities are less valid than others, the condescension that comes with ‘they’re just figuring themselves out’, and the insulting dismissal of identity exploration and performance in youth as being somehow not ‘real’, or as ‘attention seeking’. Fuck all of that.
And beyond the fact that ’inconsistent’ identities are really challenging socially, they ALSO carry these real, actual life and liberty risks; we’re expected to use the same name, orientations, values, languages, and identities across all aspects of our lives, we are expected to have normative identities that can be quantified and qualified and trust me, TRUST ME when a person is perceived as having inconsistent or unusual identities they are being flagged in all sorts of systems for extra scrutiny and action. I know this from experience.
So, yeah, this ‘one true identity’, this ‘finding yourself’, this ‘who is the real you’ stuff is bullshit. We are so, so much more interesting than that, and we deserve better.
This is very important to me as someone whose identity has changed a lot over the years - and I don’t just mean gender or sexuality, I mean everything. I am a totally different person than I used to be, and the world can’t really handle that. I’m not interested in my “profession” the way I used to be, and want to do something else. My hobbies has changed, dress sense, opinions on things like piercings, smoking, alcohol. Everything changes. Get over it.
This is amazing.
I’ve been far too many people for this not to ring true.
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"I think one thing you can do to help your friends who are depressed is to reach out to them not in the spirit of helping, but in the spirit of liking them and wanting their company. “I’m here to help if you ever need me” is good to know, but hard to act on, especially when you’re in a dark place. Specific, ongoing, pleasure-based invitations are much easier to absorb. “I’m here. Let’s go to the movies. Or stay in and order takeout and watch some dumb TV.” “I’m having a party, it would be really great if you could come for a little while.” Ask them for help with things you know they are good at and like doing, so there is reciprocity and a way for them to contribute. “Will you come over Sunday and help me clear my closet of unfashionable and unflattering items? I trust your eye.” “Will you read this story I wrote and help me fix the dialogue?” “Want to make dinner together? You chop, I’ll assemble.” “I am going glasses shopping and I need another set of eyes.” Remind yourself why you like this person, and in the process, remind them that they are likable and worth your time and interest.
Talk to the parts of the person that aren’t being eaten by the depression. Make it as easy as possible to make and keep plans, if you have the emotional resources to be the initiator and to meet your friends a little more than halfway. If the person turns down a bunch of invitations in a row because (presumably) they don’t have the energy to be social, respect their autonomy by giving it a month or two and then try again. Keep the invitations simple; “Any chance we could have breakfast Saturday?” > “ARE YOU AVOIDING ME BECAUSE YOU’RE DEPRESSED OR BECAUSE YOU HATE ME I AM ONLY TRYING TO HELP YOU.” “I miss you and I want to see you” > “I’m worried about you.” A depressed person is going to have a shame spiral about how their shame is making them avoid you and how that’s giving them more shame, which is making them avoid you no matter what you do. No need for you to call attention to it. Just keep asking. “I want to see you” “Let’s do this thing.” “If you are feeling low, I understand, and I don’t want to impose on you, but I miss your face. Please come have coffee with me.” “Apology accepted. ApologIES accepted. So. Gelato and Outlander?”"
P.S. A lot of people with depression and other mental illnesses have trouble making decisions or choosing from a bunch of different options. “Wanna get dinner at that pizza place on Tuesday night?” is a LOT easier to answer than “So wanna hang out sometime? What do you want to do?”
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Mills College, a women’s school in Oakland, California, has just made history.
The college has adopted a written policy explicitly stating that trans women are welcome to attend the school, making it the first single-sex school in the country with such a policy.
According to school officials, between 3 and 5 of the school’s 1,000 applicants each year identify as trans or gender nonconforming; this policy will make it easier for these students to apply and attend, should they so choose. The first students for whom the new policy applies will begin their classes this coming spring semester.
“When people can be authentically who they are — that’s who Mills is,” said Mills senior Tess Fillbeck-Bates.
“This is really just a codification of our practice for several years,” said Brian O’Rourke, vice president for enrollment management.
This is a HUGE deal for students of all gender identities. When colleges and universities are inclusive and affirming on paper as well as in practice, it sets a standard for other schools to follow. Well done, Mills. Well done.
(via transqueermediaexchange)Source: gaywrites
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There is an effort underway to reach out to the transgender community and improve its health and safety.
COLUMBUS, Ohio - "The Transgender Tipping Point"- it was the focus of a recent "Time" magazine cover, calling it America’s next civil rights frontier.
And here in Columbus, there is an effort underway to reach out to the transgender community and improve its health and safety.
From the outside looking in, Heather Caminiti was a cheerful, happy little girl. Behind the sweet smile of a 4 year old was a world of turmoil.
"I look at that and I think ‘God, I was such a sad kid. And I really remember being so disgusted and so upset about having to wear a dress.”
That’s because despite all outward appearances, Heather knew very early on that “she” was actually a “he”.
"It was confusing to me- why are people calling me by this female name and having me wear these girls clothes and use the girls restroom?"
It was a lonely, bewildering existence that no one else seemed to understand.
"Feeling that you’re a freak, you know? That you’re not, almost that you’re inhuman. You’re not similar to other people. And although I may have struggles that were different from others, I’m human. I cry and laugh just like everybody else. And I think the loneliness and sadness, and feeling hopeless at such a young age- four years old- at one point people called me ‘it’ in junior high."
Even a psychologist was no help.
"I finally came out and said, ‘I feel male.’ Even though I was born a female, I’ve felt this was since I was a kid. And he said, ‘You couldn’t possibly know that at this age. You should go out an experiment.’ I don’t know what that means, should I get a lab coat and beakers? So, I was devastated by that. It was just a horrible feeling."
"These are things we need to talk about, we need to address, and we need to fix," said Dwayne Steward with the Columbus Public Health Department.
CPH has launched an initiative, focused on decreasing disparities in care for the LGBT community. Statistics provided by Columbus Public Health are alarming: One in five transgender people in Ohio say they’ve been refused medical care due to their gender identity.
Nearly, a third postpone needed medical care when they are sick or hurt due to discrimination
And 44 percent of Ohioans who identify as transgender report attempting suicide - that’s 27 times the rate of the general population.
"There are a lot of factors contributing to this, that definitely includes discrimination, misunderstanding when it comes to transgender populations. there’s a lot of education i think needs to be done," said Steward.
Today, Heather is Mason, a happy, healthy transgender man, his appearance and identity no longer at odds. And now his smile is very real.
"A huge sense of relief, that I was finally going to live the truth of my life and be who I always thought I was," he said.
Columbus Public Health is hosting a forum Thursday night on health care and the transgender community.
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Deaf Awareness Week is upon us here in the UK! :D These pictures highlight the importance of lip-reading for Deaf and hard of hearing people all over the world…
We hate it when people mumble
we hate it when people cover their mouths
we hate it when people shout thinking we’ll hear better
we hate it when more than one person speak to us at the same time
we hate it when people do speak clearly….
BUT we do love it when people make the effort to talk clearly to us :)
Happy Deaf Awareness week!!
These are amazing.
This is a wonderful example of design doing what it should: emphasizing and adding to it’s message. So good…
(via midwestgenderqueer)Source: deaf-girl88